Is it possible to break up when you are not in an ‘official’ relationship?
Well, I think that’s what happened yesterday evening. I won’t go into details, but to make a long story short, let’s just say that my 3.5 month situationship and I decided that it was best to end our whirlwind of mixed emotions. Three and a half months seems pretty long when you’re consistently spending time with someone, talking to your friends and family about that person and thinking about them when you’re apart. But the reality is we were never boyfriend and girlfriend, and when you’re straddling the fence the way we were, things are bound to fuck up.
The thing is…We made an agreement to only date one another, unless we communicated otherwise before sowing our seeds elsewhere.
I didn’t make these rules, my situationship did. He was not ready to be in a committed relationship due to his newly developed schedule and other growing pains associated with his entertainment industry career choice. Weeks into us dating, I mustered up the courage to ask him what he was looking for, and he blatantly told me that he had no intentions of being in a relationship. He apologized for not making this clear in the beginning. Somehow after a few of these conversations I accepted what we had, with hopes that things would change. Who knows, they could have along the way, but we intentionally stayed away from the subject because hey, we had our agreement which was cool until it hit me that I am too damn old to be wasting time!
To clear up any misunderstandings, I didn’t want to end this. Why? Because I liked this guy, but I knew that there were things that I require from a guy that he was not giving me. It’s not that he wasn’t capable of doing so, it’s because he made a conscious decision that he was not ready to give anything (other than music) his all. Yes, I am spoiled but what I require is basic human stuff, like affection. Kiss me, hold me, hug me- show me that I am special to you. I’m also expressive- If I miss you then I’ll say it, if I want to see you then damn right, I’ll say it. But it’s also nice to sometimes hear those things without having to initiate them. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate him for everything that he is and who knows, maybe we’ll cross paths in the future. But next time I’ll avoid getting into a confusing ass ‘situationship.’