I went to a networking event the other day, and this guy asked me if I was given $50,000 for my business what would I do with it? Where would I allocate the funds. Hmm…”That’s a good question.” I said. I needed to think on it. In fact, I spent the last 2 months doing just that. Thinking. Thinking about what I really want from life. Where I want to be living, how I want my daily interactions to be, whom I want them to be with and most of all pondering on the question “who am I?”
Usually I am a person with a lot of answers, a person who is full enough to pour into others as well as myself; offering advice and feedback. But for the last two months I’ve felt depleted. I felt like I spent months at a job that I didn’t like, around people who drained me and not taking care of myself the way I should’ve been.
So lately, I haven’t had the answers and for a while I was completely uncomfortable with that. Crying to my mom about my lack of clarity, and her advice has been pretty consistent. Pray on it, God will guide you.
My lack of patience caused me to want immediate answers, from sources who can only tell me what they think. But I knew that I had to do the soul work. I’ve had to do the self work. Nobody else could tell me what my life should look like and nobody else could/can help me reach my desired pinnacle of happiness.
I’m still working. I’ve been doing a lot of praying, a lot of brainstorming, a lot more praying, a lot of working and a lot of clearing space.
A few of the best things about where I’m currently at in life is I am free of a 9-5 job, which means i’m free to dream build and honestly that is all I ever wanted. I am also free of a relationship, which means that the only person that I hold a responsibility to is myself.
I’m embracing the fact that my canvas is clear and that I can be the artist of my great big life. God has been giving me clarity and I’m getting better at making decisions for myself again. And truthfully, this right here, is enough to celebrate.